Scraps & Sketches of Words From My Heart

2010-08-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

i think im heartless.
i dont feel.
i dont even have a feeling.
for anyone.
everytime i knew somebody feels sad about what
i did/say i cant feel anything.
its you that i knew.
made me to secure my heart
inside the bank.
and no body knew.
what do you care,
you dont even takecare of yourself.
i trusted you.
look after yourself when im gone.
but you didnt,
and you take my disadvantage as an
advantage to do whatever you want to.
make yourself free.
youre flying without wings.
so happy with out me.

2010-01-10T23:02:00.000-08:00

P:6

dont break my heart unless you can put it back together, but if you cant, then hurt is what i'll feel forever.
you once were my world,till i found out one night.
no words i could say will get you back, but now i quess im ok with that.
i gave you my heart and i gave you my love, but i guess you must have lost it, because you found it in her.
i tried to send the sense of love from me to you.
but you just did nothing.
i mean, like there was a 98 year old lady who was drowning, and you did nothing.
i failed this time.
im not going to try it again.
It hurts so much, until it cant be describe in words and sentance.
i was getting nearer, but it was blocked by your words.
you havent experince broken heart, because you havent heard what is true love.
it was hard to forget.
i'm allways trying to cover my sadness by words .
if one day i walk pass ur face,i'll just say hello.
and walk away.
if i knew this wouldhappen, i wont do it.
even though your gone, i'll try to remain the same.
you didnt mean it. but i do. you pretended.but not love.now,
i hate you because you pretended not to know.

2010-01-10T22:44:00.000-08:00

P:5

I'll never forget that day, when he broke my heart,
leaving me here with nothing to say.
as my whole world fell apart.

I rememberhow hard
I cried,the feeling
I felt, like somebody died.
I couldn't sleep, or even eat.
I felt so sick,
I felt so dead.
It hurt so bad,
it messed with my head.
I was so confused ,so all alone.
I felt so used.
I wish I would have known,
that this is how it would be,
that you would have eventually
given up on me.

I've been living my alone trying
to get you out of my life but after all this
time I can't help myself but miss you
you're once a dream that came true an
illusion that turned to reality
but suddenly,things turned differently the way they used
to be untill such time
i have no choice but to let you go.

I think you don't care about me anymore.
I think I should let you go out of my life.
Making me want to blush and die,
But he can also lift me off my feet,
Just to knock me down with a simple sound,
A sound of a word,
Such a heartbreaking word,
Yes,
Yes I wil date you,
Yes I will love you,
Yes I will be yours,
But at the same time
it's a no,
No he won't date me,
no he won't love me,
No he won't be mine,

But the worst part is he has said those
yes words to me,but they have never be.
Tell him that I hate him
Tell him that I love someone new
Tell him that I don't need him anymore
Tell him that he is nothing for me
But please....Forget me.

2010-01-10T21:59:00.000-08:00

P:3

you need someone,
youre desperate.
to satisfy yourself,
in your bed.

im not a toy,
nor,
im not heartless,
its just you that i,
dont want you to feel useless.

i tried to be nice,
when you tried to love.
i know that you dont love me,
thats why im hurt.

and there i was,
ive been fooled by you.
with your lustful words,
that made me left you.

so hell yeah,im sorry.
for leaving you.
because now i think,
youve found a new love too.

so yes,im leaving.
far away from you.
despite the distance,
which actually dont bother.

this is my goodbye,
this is my last words to you.

P:4

kali pertama ku berjumpa denganmu,
ku fikir,kau lelaki yang sama,
seperti yang biasa.
semakin lama,aku mengenalimu
dengan lebih mendalam.
tetapi,hatiku berbisik,
hatiku akan terguris olehmu.

namun,aku buta.
buta dengan kata -kata manismu,
yang selama ini,cuma di muka bibir sahaja.
aku pula,seorang wanita,yang kuat bercinta.
sekali aku suka,aku sayang,aku sanggup buat
apa sahaja buatmu.

tidak kira berapa jauh,walaupun sekejap sahaja.
ia tidak pernah menjadi keberatan kepadaku.

sekarang pula, hatiku terguris.
nyatakan semua bisikan hatiku ini pasti,
akan terjadi.
malah,aku dibuat pakai, bukan untuk cinta
tetapi nafsumu.

mugkin,aku bukan apa yang kau mahu.
tetapi apa yang kau mahu adalah badanku.
tidak,aku tidak paham mengapa aku masih,
ada hati terhadapmu.

walau semuanya sekarang sudah terang,bahawa kau selama ini
sedang mencintai wanita lain.
entah bagaimana aku boleh terjatuh dengan kata-katamu,
yang sungguh indah,sehingga aku tidak mahu
mendengarnya lagi.

dengan ini.aku mahu mengucapkan selamat tinggal,
kepada seorang jejaka yang pernahku cintai.
dan ku rasa,
sampai sini sahaja cintaku pergi buatmu.

kerana hatiku sakit,juga aku tidak mampu,
membawa balik semua kebahagiaan hatiku
yang sakit ini.

apatah lagi engkau?
sudah buat pakaiku,menjilat nafsumu,sakitkan hatiku.
aku tidak boleh meneruskan perjalananku lagi.

walaupun sebagai kawan engkau menjadi.
tetap aku tidak boleh terima. sekarang hatiku tertutup.
jika aku membuka lagi pintu hatiku,aku pasti semua itu,
akan terjadi lagi.
apa yang telahku lalui,
aku tidak mahu lagi.

harap kau bahagia,itu sahaja yang dapatku harapkan.
memang kau bukan apa yang ku sangka.
kau sama seperti yang lain.
sudah puas ku mengenalimu,luar dan dalam,
sehingga menjilat nafsu.
tetapi ku tahu,sebenarnya,
kau seorang jejaka yang baik hati.

akanku lafaskan kata-kataku yang terakhir.
terima kasih atas semua yang kau berikan dan teburkan.
sekali lagi,selamat tinggal.

2009-11-10T19:29:00.000-08:00

P:1
desperate for love,
forever a loner.
my love remains but your love has fade.
not looking,
but waiting desperately

P:2
its time for bed and i couldnt sleep,
im having cramps and i dont like it.
i dont need sex but needed love.
go fuck your heart cos youre heartless

go fuck it till it bleed.
feel my sorrow, feel it deep.
we'll walk together,
i'll carry a shovel,
u'll dig it, dig it deep.

till i have pounds of sands to kill.
kill you.
so you wouldnt need to love me.

2007-11-20T06:25:00.000-08:00